Not Possible
by cuddles-are-welcome
Summary: * "You can see me! I'm right here!" Zach yells. Cammie shakes her head, "This is impossible!" she cries, "You're dead!" Another sob escapes her lips, her body trembling. * Zach was Cammie's boyfriend. He's dead now, and she's all alone. But has he really moved on to a 'better place? T for language. I DO NOT OWN THE GALLAGHER GIRLS SERIES OR THE CHARACTERS
1. Chapter 1

Cammie's P.O.V

We'd been planning this date for at least three weeks. We planned the perfect time, right during the weekend, even though it didn't matter as it was summer anyway. Everything had to be perfect. And it was. It was beyond perfect. The best one year anniversary ever, honestly. Cute diner by the lake, followed by lots of cuddling and star gazing. The night couldn't have been better. But then we had to get home.

It was so dark, even with the headlights. And the sudden downpour of rain was not doing anything to help. "Maybe we should just pull over? Wait it out?" I had suggested. But Zach has said 'no, we should keep going. If we keep going we'll get home by nine.' So I sat back and closed my eyes, and hummed some stupid tune. I felt myself slipping into a light sleepy haze, almost awake but almost asleep, when suddenly I was being thrown forward.

It hurt to feel myself be thrown back against the seat by my seat belt a moment later. I wasn't sure what had just happened. Had we swerved so we didn't hit something? Or had we actually hit something? I wasn't sure and at the moment I didn't really care, I just needed Zach. "Zach?" I called out, opening my eyes once again. The car was still upright, thank God, but we weren't on the road.

When I looked forward all I saw was the big tree stuck to the front of the car, so that is what we had hit. the windshield had shattered and there was glass everywhere, some pieces sticking out of my arms. I turned over to look at the drivers seat where Zach was, and gasped at what I saw. Zach was leaning forward, his head resting on the steering wheal. "Zach?" I called out softly. I reached out my hand to shake his shoulder, but he still didn't do anything.

I didn't have my phone on me, but luckily for us someone was driving down the road just then. I had to get out of the car, I had to get Zach help. There was so much blood everywhere. "Stop! Please! Please come help us!" I screamed, waving my arms. The car stopped right away and the driver got out and ran towards me, "Are you okay? Is there anyone else in the car? I'm a nurse but I've called for an ambulance," the girl says. "M-my boyfriend is i-in the c-c-car," I get out between the sobs.

"It's okay sweetie, it's all gonna be okay," the nurse said, hugging me quickly before running to Zach's side of the car. She wouldn't let me go near the car after she got there, 'just stay back honey' she said. After about five minutes of me pacing by myself on the side of the road, a ambulance and police car showed up. Someone can straight to me and a few other people pushed past me to Zach. The man grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards one of the ambulances, "We're gotta get you to the hospital," he said.

"No! Not yet! I need to see Zach!" I screamed, trying to pull away to get to Zach. But he kept pulling me back. "Zach!" I screamed again, trying to run to him, but the man pulled me back and to the ambulance. Eventually I just gave up and let him put me in the ambulance. I cried the whole way to the hospital, and by the time we got there my mom was there. "So, you just have some cuts and bruises, other than that you're fine," a nurse said a few hours later as I sit in a hospital room with my mom.

"Can I see Zach now?" I asked. The nurse looked at me with sad eyes and then turned to my mom, "Can I uh, talk to you outside for a minute?" she asked. My mom nodded and stood up, kissing my forehead before walking out. There was a window in the door so you could see outside, and I could see where they were standing. The nurse looked down while she talked. When she was done talking my mom was crying, hard. What was wrong? I wanted to know so bad.

Mom walked in a few minutes later and just hugged me. She held me tight as she cried, "Cammie, sweetie, Zach...Zach didn't make it," she said. She had to be kidding. She had to. There was no way Zach could have died. That was just...not a possibility "This isn't a funny joke," I said when she pulled out of the hug. "Oh honey, I wish I was joking," she said. "No! You're lying! You're lying!" I sobbed. She shook her head and hugged me again. I just felt so numb, so, so, numb.

It felt as if I was in a dream for the next few days, going home, just lying in my room. "You should talk," they said, 'Get it all out," but I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone but Zach. But of course, I can't talk to him. I don't get out of bed much. I just want to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, it's like I'm back in that car all over again. I don't eat much, either. Mom will bring me food at least once every few hours but, I just don't feel like it.

I don't want to talk to anyone about this because they just don't understand. They say they do, of course. But they don't. So I'm just writing this all out for now, because they are right, I do need to get it all out. But I really just want Zach back.

**.:*:.**

**So, how do you like the story so far? Like do you like the idea of the story? And by the way, this story isn't like one of those where Cammie writes it all out. That was just explaining what happened. But please review if you want me to continue!(:**


	2. Chapter 2

Zach's P.O.V

I thought they said I died? Wait...why can I hear people speaking if I'm dead? Is this what it is like after you die? I look around for a moment, trying to figure out where I am. Nothing looks familiar...what happened? How did I die? All I remember is being in the car and driving Cammie and I home...did something happen afterwards?

I close my eyes for a moment, trying to calm myself down. But as soon as I close my eyes and snapped into a little memory. I'm driving, I think I just looked over at Cammie or something, but suddenly the car is swerving! I gasp as the car runs into something, a tree, apparently. I put my hand over my mouth and feel myself begin to shake. I truly am dead. I did, but what about Cammie? Is she okay? Where am I? How am I supposed to find Cammie?

I take a deep breath before looking around again, the place suddenly seems very familiar. I'm standing in the living room of my house, or uh, my old house. The clock on the wall above the couch says it's only seven pm. I turn to walk into the kitchen where I thought I had heard someone speaking. My Mom and Dad are in there, speaking quietly. Mom's eyes are red and puffy.

I want to walk to her and wrap my arms around her, there is really nothing worse than seeing your mother cry. I do walk over to her, reaching my hand out to her, but I seem to just go through her. I want to cry, I can't believe I'll never get to hug my mother ever again. "What are we supposed to tell Ali?" Mom asks Dad quietly. "We're supposed to tell her the same thing we told everyone else, exactly what happened," Dad replies. "But she's six, Fred, do you really think she'll understand?" Mom asks.

"She'll start to understand when Zach doesn't ever come home again," Dad says. It was a harsh thing to say, I could tell by the look on Mom's face, but I guess she understood what he meant. "I can't believe my baby is never coming home again," Mom says quietly a few moments later. She starts to cry silently, but her silent cries quickly become loud sobs. "I just want my baby," Mom sobs into Dad's shoulder as he holds her.

Who knew you could still feel pain when you're dead? You can still feel that physical ache in your chest. I can't stay here, I just can't stand to see my parents like that. I need to get to Cammie, I need to make sure she is okay.

.:*:.

***Two Weeks Later***

Cammie's P.O.V

"Cammie, sweetheart, can I come in?" Macey called, knocking on my door. I made a sound that she took for a yes and opening the door. "Hey sweetie," she says, walking in with Eric , her boyfriend and one of our best friends, behind her. "Hey Cams," Eric says softly. I nod my head at them, still lying in my bed. "How are you?" Macey asks. "I'm fine," I say. Macey gives me a look that says she knows I'm lying, and I know she has to resist the urge to say 'bullshit'.

"But I think the real question is, how'er you guys?" I ask. Macey shrugs, her eyes becoming watery. "We're fine too," she says. I look over to Eric, who isn't even trying to pretend he's not crying, "I miss him," Eric says softly. I feel really bad for Eric, he's known Zach since they were four. "I do too," I reply. Eric walks over to me and sits down at the edge of my bed, "Can I hug you?" he asks.

Instead of answering I wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back, crying on my shoulder. I can't help it, for about the hundredth time in two weeks, I cry again as well. I hear Macey get up and walk out of the room, a soft sob leaving her lips before she shuts the door. "He loved you so much," Eric says about ten minutes later, still holding onto me. "You're all he ever talked about. Mr. Solomon used to have to tell him to shut up a million times because he was always going on about you," he adds.

I let out another sob at that. "Do you plan on going back to Gallagher any time soon?" Eric asks a few more minutes later, after we've both stopped crying and calmed down. He was now sitting beside me on my bed, still holding me. Eric is like the big brother I never had, really. Ever since I meet him we've been close. We were constantly hanging out, never wanting to be away from each other too long, but it was never like the 'I want to be with you' in a romantic way, it was more like the 'you're my best friend and I love hanging out' kind of way.

"I don't know. There is just so many memories of him there, you know? Like literally everything there reminds me of him," I reply. "I get it. I'm taking a break from school for awhile as well. They've told me to take as long as I need, but I don't really want to be gone much longer. I mean, I have been gone for two weeks, I don't want to get too far behind," Eric says.

I nod my head in agreement, "The girls have brought me my homework, I should probably start it soon." Eric and I sit in silence for awhile before he stands up, "I should get going, Macey probably wants to get back to Gallagher. I'll call you later," he says. I nod my head and he walks out. I lie back down in bed and close my eyes, trying to fall asleep.

I do sleep, for about two hours, before my Mom comes into my room. "Cammie, sweetheart, Zach's mom is at the door," she says. I get up and walk downstairs to see Lily Zach's mom, standing at the door. She always looked so young, but right now she looks so old. My mom walks away and Lily and I stand in front of each other for a moment before we hug. I hug her almost as tightly as she hugs me.

Over the time that Zach and I started dating, Lily and I got sort of close. She really likes me and I really like her. She always made me feel really welcome and as if I was apart of her family. "Hello dear," she says. "Hello," I reply. "I'm sorry to come over so unannounced but I just wanted to bring you a few things," Lily says. I nod my head and we walk over to the living room and sit down.

"I'm sorry if these things upset you, I just thought you might like to have them," Lily starts off. I nod my head, telling her to go on. She lifts up her bag and pulls a few things out, "This was always my favorite picture of you two, you both look so happy. Zach loved it, too, it was the background on his phone for God know's how long," she says, handing me a picture of Zach and I. It was one we took awhile ago, we were having a lazy Sunday watching movies and cuddling when Zach just snapped a picture.

I hold the picture close to my chest. "There's also this, I don't know if this means anything to you, but it must have meant something to him as he's kept it for so long," Lily says, handing me a folded up piece of paper. I feel myself smile as I look at the paper, I know exactly what it is, even before I open it. Zach had asked me out in a note in one of our classes, he was cheesy and told me to 'check yes or no' of course, I had checked Yes. I think it's cute he kept it. "And the last thing is this," she says, pulling out a navy blue hoodie.

I carefully take it out of her hands, feeling myself start to shake. This was Zach's favorite hoodie. I loved it, as well. It was really soft and it always smelt like him, so he'd let me keep it sometimes. Let me take it with me back to my room after classes. I liked to sleep with it because it smelt so much like him. "I know you really liked it, so I thought you might like to have it," Lily says quietly. I look up at her through teary eyes, "All of this means so much to me, really, thank you," I say. We both stand up and hug again before she leaves.

I gather everything carefully before walking up to my room. It's really hitting me again, that this is real. That Zach really is dead and he'll never be coming back again.

.:*:.

**What did you think? Did you like it? I'd like at least two reviews telling me what you think before I start on the next chapter, if you don't mind(:**


	3. Chapter 3

Cammie's P.O.V

I've started going back to school. Attempting to get through my classes without sobbing because everything reminds me of Him. Everyone is giving me so much sympathy, 'I'm so sorry' 'he was a great guy' or 'you two were just so perfect together! I can't believe he's gone...'. But what kind of spy does it make me if I can't even get over my boyfriend who has been dead for over a month? This is exactly why they tell us not to get attached to people. We lose them and it's like the whole world falls apart.

But I am kind of getting better, I guess. One time I went five minutes without thinking about him, a new record. Everyone is telling me to 'move on' but I just...I don't want to. I don't want to love another, ever. I don't want this to happen again. I just...I can't. I can't attempt to be with someone else when I'm still in love with Zach. It just wouldn't be fair to that other person.

"Hey Cam, so uh, we're going into town today and we were wondering if you wanted to come?" Macey asks, standing in the doorway of our room with a concerned look. "Yeah, sure," I say, standing up to get my shoes. "Are you wearing Zach's hoodie again?" Macey asks softly, walking to me carefully. I look down, wrapping my arms around myself. The soft fabric of Zach's old hoodie gives me a comforting feeling.

"Sweetie," Macey says now wrapping her arms around me. "You can't do this to yourself, Cammie! You're just hurting yourself even more, Zach wouldn't want that," she says. "We don't know what he would want," I say into Macey's shoulder, "because he's dead." Macey stays silent.

**.:*:.**

Zach's P.O.V

I walk alongside Cammie, saying things to her every once and a while, annoyed when she never hears me. How can she not see me? I'm right here! I've always been right here, and I always will be. I don't know why I'm still here, maybe this is what happens when you die? You just continue to walk the earth all alone? But what about heaven? Or hell?

I watch from the side as Cammie and Macey go through clothes at some store Macey loves. "What do you think about this?" Cammie asks, holding up a black lace long-sleeve T shirt. It would look amazing on her. Macey smiles, "I love it!" The girls look around a little while longer before deciding to go meet up with Liz and Bex, who are probably with Grant, Jonas and Eric. Usually I'd be with them, watching some sports game from a diner. Or looking at hats and jerseys in that one sport store Grant loves. And then we'd meet up with the girls for lunch before walking back to Gallagher.

I suddenly feel really sad that I can't do that anymore, can't sit around Gallagher with Cam, her hair in a messy bun and some random sweats, while we do our homework. Well, it's more like she does her homework and I stare at her in amazement, amazed that she was mine. Why did I have to die? I wasn't ready! I still had so much to live for, so why did I have to die? I look up and realize that Cammie and Macey left the store, dammit, where did they go?

I hurry to walk out to them, they've meet up with the boys and Bex and Liz and they're now walking towards Bo's Diner. When we walk in they're all tempted to walk back to the booth in the back right corner, but they all decide not to. That's where we always sat, the back right corner. They walk over to an empty booth and sit down.

They make random small talk before ordering. I can't help but smile when they all order the same thing they always do. Guess we've all got favorites from here. Things were going perfectly fine until Dillion, Josh and Dee Dee walk in. "Just get up and leave!" I urge Cammie, but she stays exactly where she is, trying to pretend they're not even there. Dillion realizes they're here and smiles a bright, evil smile.

"Look what we've got over here! The rich kids!" he calls. He walks over to us and I want to get up and push him away, tell him not to bug them. But of course I can't do anything. "Hey, isn't someone missing from here?" Dillion says, still smiling. "Dillion, stop," Grant says. Dillion shakes his head and continues talking, "Hey Gallagher Girl," he says to Cammie.

I watch Cammie flinch at the nickname. I want to do something! Anything to make him stop hurting my friends, but nothing works! "Wasn't the dead boy you're boyfriend? Yeah, he was, right?" Dillion goes on. "Shut up Dillion," Eric says this time. Again Eric ignores him and goes on to continue to talk to Cammie.

"That must suck. What is it like to have the boy you loved die? How does it feel to know you'll never see him again? Guess there is only so much money can do," Dillion goes on. Cammie looks in the verge of tears now and I just want to wrap my arms around her. "But I guess I get it. I mean, if you were my girlfriend, I'd want to die too," Dillion says. That pushes Cammie too far an she jumps from her seat, pushing Dillion back and running through the door.

"Cammie!" Liz and Bex yell running after her, but she's too far ahead and going too fast. Eric jumps up as well, walking towards Dillion instead of going after Cammie. "What the fuck is your problem? Huh? What in the world would make you think it was okay to do that? Someone she loved is dead, died very recently, and you're mocking her about it! Are you kidding me!" Eric yells at Dillion, pushing him back with every word. Dillion goes to say something, but Eric doesn't give him the chance. Eric punches Dillion, something that shocked the whole diner.

A waitress jumps up and runs between them, putting herself between them. "Whoa!" she yells. She must have seen the whole thing, like everyone else in the diner, because instead of throwing Eric out like she would have normally, she turned to Dillion. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she says. Dillion gapes at her, "He hit me and you're asking me to leave? Are you serious?" The waitress speaks to Dillion in a calm but angry voice, its rather scary, "He had all rights to hit you, after what you said to his friend. God you're a sick human being. You make me sick and I want you out of my sight."

Dillion sighs, glaring at Eric and the waitress before he turns to go. "Please tell Cammie I'm sorry," Dee Dee says softly to Eric before pulling Josh outside with Dillion, Dillion was sure to get yelled at again by her. Eric sighs before turning back to our friends. I headed back to Cammie's moms apartment then. Bex and Liz had figured that she went to Gallagher, but I know she didn't. When I reach it, I concentrate really hard on making myself just a presence so I can walk through the walls.

I find Cammie sitting in her room crying. "Stupid Zach! You don't have to go through this," Cammie sobs. "You don't have to miss me every day! You don't have to see constant reminders of me! You don't have to miss my hugs or the way we used to say goodnight!" Cammie yells, now angry. "That's not true," I whisper. Cammie screams, a loud scream. Full of tears and anger from everything she's had to go through. "Why did you leave me?" Cammie sobs. She slides down to the floor, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her head on her knees.

"It's not like I chose to leave you!" I yell back suddenly. "It's not like this was what I wanted!" my voice gets louder and louder as I yell. "And I do miss you, all the time! I miss you even through I'm right here! I'm right here!" I yell. Cammie looks up, her eyes wide and surprised, "Zach?" she asks softly. My eyes widen as well, can she really here me?

I focus on making myself viewable to her, maybe if I focus on making myself solid she'll see me. "Oh my God! Why am I haunted with you?" Cammie cries. "You can see me! I'm right here!" I yell. Cammie shakes her head, "This is impossible!" she cries, "You're dead!" another sob escapes her lips, her body trembling.


	4. Chapter 4

Cammie's P.O.V

"No look Cammie, I'm right here!" Zach yells.

I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut, "You're not really here," I whisper. "You're dead. This is just my imagination."

"No! I'm right here!" Zach yells again and I open my eyes to look up at him. I gasp when I see that he's there, he's really there! I stand up and walk towards him.

I walk a whole circle around him, "It's you," I whisper.

"Yes! It's me!" Zach replies, turning to face me. I reach my hand out towards his shoulder and gasp when my hand actually rests on his shoulder.

"But...you're dead. I know you're dead, I saw you dead! I went to your funeral!" I say, jerking my arm back off his shoulder.

Zach sighs, "Well, yes. I'm dead, I think. I mean I thought when you died you went to heaven or hell, but I'm just...here." Zach runs a hand through his hair, "It's like I'm living, but no one can see me. I've been with you this whole time, since that night. But you've only just heard me."

I feel myself start to cry again, "I've missed you so much. I thought...I thought you were gone forever. I thought I'd never hear your voice again, but you're right here with me, you're here."

Zach wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him, "It's okay, because I'm here now."

"But for how long?" I ask, "I've never seen anything like this. If you try, I can see and hear you. But other than that, you remain...well, invisible. What if someday you become completely gone? Like what if you actually leave, like go to heaven?"

Zach laughs, "What makes you think I'm going to heaven?"

I sigh, "I'm serious, Zach. When I thought I lost you before I...I couldn't do anything. You said you've been with me so you should know what it's like. I need you, Zach, forever. I can't live without you. When I thought I had lost you I..." my voice cracks and I can't continue.

"I know, and I'm so sorry. I was hurting as much as you were. You had to live without me, even though I was right here, and I had to live without you, even though you were right here. I don't know what's going to happen, but I think we should just enjoy this now. I think you should go back to Gallagher, I'll be right there with you, and you should go on with your life-" I start to protest but Zach just goes on, "And I'll be there. You'll know I'm there, and we can still talk, and sometimes it can be like old times, but...I'm dead, so it can't be completely like old times, you know?"

I nod, hugging him tighter one last time, "Let's get back to Gallagher," I say.

Zach's P.O.V (Three Weeks Later)

"Cammie?" I call out as I walk down the hall in Gallagher.

"I'm in here," Cammie calls back softly. I walk carefully down the hall to the door of Cammie's room, still surprised when I can walk through the door. I don't think I'll ever get used to that. She's sitting on her bed, reading a book.

"Where is everyone?" I ask as I walk towards her bed, making myself visible and solid.

"They're all off with their families. Mom decided to give the school a two week break while all of the teachers go off for a bit more training," Cammie replies.

"Where's you mom?" I ask as I sit down beside her. She shrugs, leading into me. I wrap my arms around her and she sighs.

"This is still so weird. I mean, you're dead but you're right here, holding me," Cammie says. She's said this a few times over the past three weeks. I'm just as surprised as she is.

"I know. But, at least this way we can still talk, yeah?" I say. Cammie nods, snuggling closer to me. "Are you tired?" I ask. She nods her head.

"I haven't been sleeping much. I started this book and it's so good, I can't put it down," she says.

I laugh, because this is something that would happen to her, "What're you reading?" I ask.

She holds up the book, "City of Bones." I look at the cover, which is a shirtless guy, and raise my eyebrows.

"Is it what it looks like?" I ask.

"No!" Cammie says, laughing softly. She sets her book down and closes her eyes, "Can I take a nap?" she asks.

I nod my head, "Of course." I kiss her forehead and hum softly as she slowly falls asleep.


End file.
